Swap harsher standards with higher ones¶
Lets write a series of statements; all of which are true. One of these statements is unideal and that can be fixed. Try to spot it:
- I often set high standards for myself
- I often fail to meet those standards
- I often treat myself very harshly for failing to meet those standards
- I am often very scared by the idea of failing
- I often do not try new things because of this fear
High standards vs Harsh standards¶
For me high standards is setting a goal for myself that much ahead of my current capability. In order to achieve those goals / meet that standard I have a steep learning curve ahead of me. Often this is what I am looking forward to. I am looking forward to the thrill of the learning etc. The process is the goal.
Having harsher standards on the other hand has to do with how much room for failure there is in your system. If you aim very very high but you have no room for failure, then you have system with a harsh standard.
The problem with setting higher standards is that more often than not, you WILL end up not meeting them. What happens when you do not meet those standards ? Do you treat yourself like shit or do you treat yourself with grace and kindness. If there is room for failure, then you are more likely to take riskier bets. Bets which have more risk, but also more reward.
If your system is primed to avoid the harsh punishment, then you are less likely to take riskier bets. This is a cycle. Keep your punishments bitter, and you end up extremely risk-averse. Being risk-averse is not a bad thing, but only under certain circumstances.
As an antidote to this I urge you to swap my 3rd statement with something less harsh. :)
Thanks, that is it.
Cheers!!