Being easy-going and goofy is hard work :(

These are the two main cornerstones of my personality. Like any other coherent consciousness and too feel a tension between intent vs perception

I did some thinking and figured that the best course of action was to write.

Being an easy-going person

I used to be a severe rule-follower before; then I started hiking. Hiking bought a lot of positive changes in my personality and I think becoming more easy-going is surely one of them. Once you start hiking (and I mean truly hiking) all of your notions of essential gets reset. Flexibility is the name of the game and it is truly liberating.

A lot of my friends interpret this as being extremely conflict-averse which is arising out a deep people-pleasing tendency. I find this interpretation uncharitable.

The truth is rather simple. There are very little things in life for which I would go to war for. In my opinion most things are not worth getting upset over. I could not care less about the quality of food when I am catching up with a close friend; as clearly the point is to catch up with the friend and not the food.

I can not let every bad quality food upset my peace. Not in this economy! This idea applies to other aspects also and not just food.

During the early phase of my adult-hood being easy-going was also a very big defense mechanism against getting bullied. However now, this defense mechanism which is often rooted in insecurity has turned into a trait (which comes from a much more secure place).

My close friends know that I can be very very opinionated/stern about things that are important to me. I choose my battles wisely.

Too much of Anthony Bourdain might have added fuel to the fire.

Being a goofy person

I am a certified goofy person. I crack jokes (bad puns mostly) and my overall vibe is that of a very unserious person. Seriousness just for the sake of being serious is just optics. It is a game that I never learnt to play and I have no intention of starting. Often people take this as an admission of being incompetent and unreliable. This is frustrating and I have lost friendships because of this (well, after repeated demonstrating competence as well).

Most of my richer friendships have developed with people to see the goofy side of me and still treat me as a competent and reliable adult.